Crafting a Voice Online: An Interview with Ramou Sarr
Ramou Sarr has been lending her voice to the Black Girls Talking podcast for the last 3 years, and it was her humor-tinged observations on representation and pop culture that initially drew me to the show. All of BGT’s contributors bring wit and razor sharp cultural analysis to the podcast, but Ramou’s writing on representation in TV, coupled with her personal essays, made me immediately think of this month’s Resilience theme. Ramou has written about everything from “The Mindy Project” to depression in a way that cultivates community and feels deeply resonate with so many narratives on Femsplain.
Reading Ramou’s piece on mental illness and medication for BGT made me think of resilience in storytelling. What drives women to continue telling their stories online when they experience criticism and unhelpful commentary at every turn? Ramou’s commitment to bringing her voice to the Internet is the embodiment of resilience and very much in Femplain’s spirit.
How did you first get started with writing online?
I had a blog for about maybe five years. I had a LiveJournal back in college and high school. I didn’t really do that after LiveJournal died down a little bit, and then I got back onto Tumblr. I’ve had the same Tumblr for about five years, and I was commenting on a lot of HelloGiggles stuff in particular. One of the editors at HelloGiggles just ended up emailing me and asked me if I wanted to write for HelloGiggles. That was the first time I actually started becoming a regular contributor to a website and writing online for anything other than my own blog.
How did the Black Girls Talking podcast start? It seems like you all are really good friends, judging from the rapport of the podcast.
We’ve actually only met once in person. It was Fatima’s idea, and she just posted this little blog post on Tumblr saying she was thinking of starting this podcast on black women and representation in media, and if anyone was interested to get in contact with her.
You guys have all these awesome conversations about racism and appropriation where you disagree but it’s respectful and engaged. I feel like a lot of people want to have that in their lives. Do you have tips for how to cultivate that type of environment for yourself and your friends?
It’s interesting you say that, because I think that sometimes it can sound like we’re all agreeing. We come from very different backgrounds but I think a lot of our core beliefs, particularly on things like appropriation and racism and gender and how those things all intertwine, are similar but don’t completely align. I think we just respect each other. When we disagree, no one gets angry with anybody and we’re all pretty respectful of each other’s opinions. We’re all very sensitive, so if someone feels disrespected or weird about something that may have happened on the podcast, we’re pretty okay with just talking about it. I think that comes from a respect and understanding of each other.
When we disagree, no one gets angry with anybody and we’re all pretty respectful of each other’s opinions.
You’ve written a lot of pieces about television and representation, which is generating a lot more online conversation. You’ve been an integral part of that and have written about it on a ton of very different shows. Where do you want to see that conversation going?
I just want us to keep talking about it. TV has changed a lot in the past year or two and we are seeing a lot more representations on television. Who knows if it’s a direct correlation with all these conversations that are happening, but I think there’s some relationship there. The bottom line is, it’s about money! This is a business and if whoever is running this company doesn’t believe people of color are wanted on the show, but then it happens and it makes them money, then they see people actually do want to see this and they’re willing to pay for it. They’re willing to put in time and effort to consume this media with different representations. I just want us to keep talking about it. I hate the ‘Why are we still talking about this’ — because it’s still a problem! We should keep talking about it until it’s not a problem anymore.
You’re writing about TV shows that have big fandoms online. How do you see TV fans as being part of conversations?
Television is really personal — people watch and have a very personal relationship with the characters. I don’t really read or participate in fandom, although I did start reading “Mindy Project” fanfiction once. It was so good and it made me want to write my own, but I just don’t have time. But I think fandom is this really great thing to show your commitment or devotion or relationship to a show, which shows how everyone experiences it differently. The way we talk about it shows this other side of our relationship with television.
Speaking of personal reflections on media, the other day you tweeted about not wanting to see “Fruitvale Station” because so many young black men are being executed daily, like Walter Scott. What do you decide what you want to engage with on social media and critique and what is just too much to handle?
The thing with “Fruitvale Station” is, I’ve heard it’s a great movie and I’ve heard I should see it. When it came out, it was around Trayvon Martin and I just was thinking, ‘Oh, I don’t know if I can handle that right now’ — and it just has not stopped, young black men being killed. I’m sure eventually I’ll see it. In terms of how I choose to engage online, I’ve gotten way less concerned about that over the past year or so. I used to think ‘You’re one of these voices’ and maybe being a bit full of myself for thinking that there were people wanting me to say things, but I don’t really owe anybody anything. I don’t really owe anybody to participate in these conversations if I don’t want to, and that’s fine. If someone believes that my lack of participation in a conversation means that I don’t care about a topic, that’s really not my problem. We all have our limits, and for some people this is their life and crusade to talk about things like this. I think that’s great, but it just became very exhausting for me to continue to engage in these conversations. It’s exhausting to continue to talk about these things because they keep happening. In general, race and racism on the internet is happening everyday. As a black person, you can’t really do anything on the Internet without somebody commenting on your race. It’s become easier to just not talk about it if you don’t want to deal with what people will say. I’d rather choose to engage on my own terms and on my own time than feel like I’m obligated to respond to something.
As a black person, you can’t really do anything on the Internet without somebody commenting on your race.
That’s how the podcast feels — like you’re all engaging on your own terms. Nothing feels forced or obligated.
When we first started the podcast it was very depressing. To start talking about this kind of stuff can be very depressing. We’ve turned it more into a pop culture podcast instead of focusing solely on representation. We do have these fun conversations, and there will be times when we go, ‘I just don’t want to talk about that.’ It makes us angry or it makes us sad, or we just don’t want to talk about it. It is a conscious decision to sometimes start a podcast sad and then end on a high note.
This month’s topic on Femsplain is “Resilience”, and we’ve had a lot of women talk about their experiences with anxiety and depression, and a host of other mental illness issues. You wrote a really great piece on depression and being medicated for the BGT blog that really resonated with me. Do you write things like that as a way of sorting out your own feelings on them, or do you write them after you’ve come to some sort of conclusion?
I think it’s totally working out my own feelings. We had this thing [on Black Girls Talking] where we wanted to do more personal posts, and I was just sort of going through it. I felt the need to write about it. When you talk about depression with people who really have no experience with depression, I think the things you say to them can be very scary. They don’t really recognize that it’s just part of being a depressed person. People have different opinions on this, but sometimes I do joke about killing myself and sometimes it is half-serious. That’s just the life of being a depressed person. It’s explaining that in a way that’s like, ‘I’m okay. This is and always will be a part of who I am.’ Part of it was working through that and trying to explain it to people I’m really good friends with but couldn’t really have a conversation about this with. If they read it, they could kind of understand me better. I did get a lot of really nice, thoughtful comments on that.
When you talk about depression with people who really have no experience with depression, I think the things you say to them can be very scary.
There are so many of us dealing with mental health issues and depression and anxiety that we should feel free to talk about it. I think we should cultivate these communities where we can talk about it openly and just share our stories — because a lot of us do have similar stories.
Do you have any words of wisdom for women who want to start publishing their own narratives online? How can they stay resilient when the Web can be a hostile place for women especially?
You gotta not read the comments — that would be my first piece of advice. Certain publications have different commenters, and you’ll know that. You have to be prepared when you write something for a particular website or publication, to know what the audience is and how able you are to handle that audience. Putting yourself out there and writing about things that scare you — it should scare you! I think you know you’ve written something good if it scares you a little bit. What’s so great about writing is that it does bring people together. It’s great for one individual to write something and have that be therapeutic to them, and it’s also something they’re giving to other people. It’s your story to tell, and you’re the only person who can tell how far you can go. Trusting yourself and trusting other people is a big one — not being afraid to reach out to other people. Most writers are very nice and very friendly people.
Note: This interview was originally posted on Femsplain’s blog in April of 2015
